The country & western music scene has a not-always-so-proud tradition of male singers making light of women. Of course, female songwriters have gotten a few licks in, too (you go, Dolly), but it’s usually a one-way, macho-dominated street out there. Look no further than this list of make-believe song titles a friend sent along as an off-color joke. Inappropriate? Yes. Funny? Yes. Sorry ladies, but a joke’s a joke …

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

9. Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few

8. If The Phone Don’t Ring … You’ll Know It’s Me

7. I’ve Missed You … But My Aim’s Improvin’

6. Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dogfight ‘Cause I’m Scared She’d Win

5. I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like You’re Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She’s Lookin’ Better with Every Beer

And The Number One Country & Western Song Is …

1. It’s Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day

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