The country & western music scene has a not-always-so-proud tradition of male singers making light of women. Of course, female songwriters have gotten a few licks in, too (you go, Dolly), but it’s usually a one-way, macho-dominated street out there. Look no further than this list of make-believe song titles a friend sent along as an off-color joke. Inappropriate? Yes. Funny? Yes. Sorry ladies, but a joke’s a joke …
10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
9. Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few
8. If The Phone Don’t Ring … You’ll Know It’s Me
7. I’ve Missed You … But My Aim’s Improvin’
6. Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dogfight ‘Cause I’m Scared She’d Win
5. I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like You’re Still Here
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. She’s Lookin’ Better with Every Beer
And The Number One Country & Western Song Is …
1. It’s Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day